Safety Planning
Creating a Path to Safety and Support
Safety planning is anything you do that supports you and your children feeling safe. It can be related to physical safety as well as emotional safety. Every situation is different and some of these suggestions may or may not work for you.
Call the Sarah’s Inn 24-hour crisis line at 708-386-4225 to speak with a trained advocate and begin making a personalized safety plan.
Some things to consider as you begin to safety plan:
In case of a violent incident when you may need to flee quickly
- Practice how to get out of the house safely – which doors, stairwells, fire escapes, etc. will you use?
- Move to a room with two exits.
- Stay away from spaces with weapons, such as the kitchen.
- Leave and go to a neighbor, friend, or relative’s house.
- Call 911 – the police are required to provide safe transportation for you and your children to a hospital or safe place.
- Tell a trusted neighbor about the abuse and ask them to call the police if they hear suspicious activity or noises from your house.
- Use of alcohol or other drugs can also reduce awareness and ability to act quickly in response to violence. If you are going to use alcohol or drugs, make sure you are doing so in a safe place and with people who understand the risk of violence and are committed to your safety.
Safety and children
- Decide on a “code” word/signal with children and friends to signal to them to call the police.
- Make a plan with your children and teach them safety strategies – Make sure they know their first priority is to keep themselves safe during a violent incident and not to physically or verbally protect you.
- Identify safe places in the house for them to go where they can call for help and/or exit to leave for help.
Preparing to leave
- Prepare an overnight bag and keep it in a readily accessible place with the following items for you and your children:
- Clothes
- Cash (other sources of money if possible)
- Driver’s license and registration, passports, social security cards, birth certificates
- Public Aid cards, green cards, work permits
- Copy of orders of protection, marriage licenses, and/or divorce papers
- Medications, medical, and vaccination records
- Copies of lease, rental agreement, and/or house deed
- Keys to house, car, and work
- Insurance cards and paperwork, banking and financial records
- Important phone numbers
- Change passwords frequently on your email and phone, especially if your device is sharing your location.
- Create a new email account to collect information.
- Make copies of important documents and keys, and leave with a trusted friend, family member, and/or neighbor, in case you need to leave quickly and your bag is not accessible.
- Keep any evidence of abuse, as this will support any legal action you decide to take – photographs of injuries and bruises, ripped clothing, or damaged property, police documentation, threatening emails or voicemails, medical records, etc. Ensure you have access to these if you have to flee quickly (i.e. leave with a trusted friend or email photos/docs to a secret email account).
- If able to plan out your leaving, consider when the safest time to leave would be and how you could get out safely
- Open a bank account and begin saving money, and establish a credit history independent of your partner.
- Bring your packed overnight bag to a trusted friend or family member’s house for safe access after you leave.
Safety when separated or not living together
- Prepare to shift your routine. Consider varying which way you go to get to work or school, alternate when and where you go to the store or to get gas, shifting your work schedule, etc.
- Consider obtaining an Order of Protection. Sarah’s Inn has Legal Advocacy services to assist with this process. Call 708-386-4225 to learn more about this free service.
- Document any ongoing abuse, including keeping any evidence as well as keeping a record of the dates and description of any incidents
- Get a post office box and have personal mail sent there.
- Consider changing locks and/or adding other security measures, such as cameras.
Emotional safety
- Domestic violence is not only physical. In fact most of the violence is emotional and psychological abuse. Here are a few tips to help increase your emotional safety.
- Is there a trusted person you can call to talk through your concerns or feelings? Minimizing, denying and blaming are tactics your partner can use against you. Having someone you can talk through a situation to validate your experience can be extremely helpful to your mental and emotional health. Call the Sarah’s Inn Crisis Line at 708-386-4225 to begin individual counseling or join one of the ongoing counseling groups.
- Getting connected to support groups. Sarah’s Inn has several counseling groups in both English and Spanish that meet on a regular basis. Ask your Sarah’s Inn advocate or call 708-386-4225 for more information.
- Thinking through your self-talk. Is it reflecting what your partner is saying to you? How can you change it to more positive thoughts? Are there ways you can be kind to and care for yourself
Other general things to think about
- Preparing for divorce and/or parenting time (child custody). How to pick a good attorney? What other legal resources are available if your income is limited? What is realistic to expect? Contact Sarah’s Inn at 708-386-4225 to get connected to legal services and think through some options.
- There may be other rights and resources that may be helpful to you. Call Sarah’s Inn at 708-386-4225 to learn more about your rights as a survivor and possible legal protections pertaining to immigration status, time off from work, or breaking a lease.
If you make the decision to leave, consider your safety and that of your family when making arrangements and consider the following:
The safest time to leave and how you could get out safely
Open a bank account and begin saving money, and establish a credit history independent of your partner
Get a post office box and have personal mail sent there
Consider obtaining an Order of Protection
Bring your packed overnight bag to a trusted friend or family member’s house for safe access after you leave